Last week I went to see my sister in-law who had just given birth to a beautiful daughter. My wife and I went to see her at a private hospital. I find seeing new born babies incredibly healing. I always feel a sense of peace and love when holding a new born. When we entered the room I was surprised to find the television on. Her daughter, yet to be named, was less than two days old but was already being exposed to television. No peaceful music, but rather the screeching laughs of comedians filled the air. Even when it was quite clear that we were staying for a chat the TV was still left on. So we had to compete with the noise as we talked about her beautiful baby. I found it quite difficult to concentrate on the conversation. No one was watching the TV, but it was left on. This did take me by surprise, but when I think about it now as I write this I know I shouldn’t be because this phenomenon is all to common in Japan.
A lot of small pubs in Japan have TVs sets constantly switch on during work hours so salary men can catch the news or sport each night after a hard days work . This can be a little annoying because if you are wanting to chat with friends it is hard to hear each other with the competing noise and it is a little unusual or off putting as you are compelled to look in the same direction as everyone else. On several occasions I have been invited to the homes of Japanese friends for dinner and been amazed to find the TV was left on the whole time we were there. These were fairly formal dinner. Not watching the baseball while having a BBQ kinda thing . A long dinner with wine and conversation…….and the TV in the background
My own father in-law cannot sleep without the television on. My brother in-law locks himself in his room and basically spends all his free time watching TV or playing computer games. When they eat the TV must be on. They can’t seem to eat in silence or participate in a conversation. Even on special family occasions, New Year’s Day or children’s birthdays the TV is on. My protests are considered comical and I am often laughed at when I express my frustration or concern about having the TV on all the time.
I talked about to my students about it and found most of them watch three to six hours of television a day. I asked them why they spend so much time watching TV and all I got was a shrug of the shoulders. Obviously watching hours and hours of TV everyday isn’t healthy and a huge waste of free time, but what concerns me or frustrates me more is the quality of television programs in Japan. In general television in Japan is very poor. There are very few educational or documentary type programs It is just variety show after variety show, drama after drama and baseball. The presentation of the news is very formalized – dry and boring, No smiles of laughs. Just a robot-like presenter reading off the news. And then there are the comedy shows. I will admit I have seen a lot of funny stuff on some comedy programs, but most of it is childish antics that you generally would never conceive Japanese capable of doing or enjoying.
So here it comes. The television set in Japan is a family member, just like a pet. The thing is always on even when people aren’t watching it. It is indispensable. People cannot eat, sleep, function or live without it. As fate would have it my father in-law’s TV broke last week. Over dinner we talked about what a good thing it was not watching TV. He was amazed at the amount of free time he had to do other things. The only problem was he was having trouble getting to sleep. He brought a TV a few days ago. It keeps him company while he sleeps.
One custom of Japanese culture that Japanese themselves at times despise is “giri”. A dictionary will tell you that giri means obligation. However, to understand giri you really need to be Japanese. Giri is a way of living. From a very young age Japanese are bound by specific degrees of obligation to themselves, to their parents, their siblings, and to others who touch their lives. In short giri implies the give-and-take principle in social interaction taken to the extreme in Japan. It is a concept which drives Japanese to fulfill there life’s duties as a …….well ……Japanese.
As Japanese feels morally obligated to return a favor to those who have helped him or her in some way they do spend a great deal of time sorting out their giri. My wife is usually a little peeved when she or I receives a gift of some sort because she knows that she will have to go out and buy something to “pay back the giri”. I often forget how much giri is a part of the Japanese way of life. Then I will find myself with my wife wasting time and money buying a gift for someone who I don’t really know. I often suggest to my wife not worry about giri and just accept the gift or favor without any sense of obligation to return the giri. However, giri is so infused with the Japanese way of life that one will surely feel shame if they don’t return the favor.
The concept of giri to non-Japanese seems fickle and very…Japanese. I should also point out that Japanese generally only do giri with Japanese. Perhaps the obligation of giri is something that Japanese feel non-Japanese wouldn’t understand. I must say that giri does take away the good will, thoughtfulness or happy feelings associated with gift giving or helping out. Gifts aren’t usually gifts in Japan, that are some form of payback. If someone helps you out, then you owe them.
Acts of Giri
Acts of giri include such things as sending and giving gifts, attending weddings and funerals, and avoiding actions that would harm anyones’ reputation. My father in-law is the oldest son of a large family seven brothers and sisters. This makes him the big wig of the family. He is a very successful potter and the local community “God father” (he is not Yakuza). Anyway, not one week goes by without him either going to a wedding or funeral. He also constantly receives gifts of rice, beer, noddles, cakes and whatnot from friends, distant family and business associates.
The feeling of obligation also extend to relations between businesses. Companies generally continue doing business with companies that have helped them out or provided good service in the past. They will continue business relations even if it not the the companies best interest to do so. Workers will often not leave a job that are unhappy with because of the giri they feel they owe to their boss or co-workers. Aren’t you glad you’re not Japanese!?
I know many people are fascinated with their Japanese name equivalent. I also know that many people would also like to have their name written in Kanji. Would you like to know what your name means and how it pronounced in Japanese? The problem is there are too many names for me to translate. What I can do is introduce you to some new and odd Japanese female names, Japanese male names, current popular baby names and very odd and “cute” pet names. So what I have done is come up with a list of some very western sounding Japanese names and “new” names.
Did you know that not all Japanese use kanji for their names? Hiragana often is used for first names, especially for female names. In fact, my wife’s name is written in Hiragana and her surname ( my surname) is written in Katakana. She is Kanji-less. Also her name can be used as Japanese female name or a Japanese male name. Her name is Kaoru!
Japanese Names and Meanings
When the parents choose kanji for the name of a child, they usually choose from its meaning. For example, “ko (child)” is commonly used for the end of female Japanese names. “Mi” is a another popular choice for Japanese girls names, since it means beauty. However, recently more parents are choosing Japanese names they like the sound of rather than choosing names based on the kanji meaning. Concern is also taken over the number strokes that are used to write the name. When the parents wish to name a child after their relatives, they use one of the kanji characters of the relatives name instead of the name.
Japanese names are confusing. Japanese etiquette is a confusing. Knowing what to call people can drive you nuts in this country. In my father’s house I call my father in law “Father” ( Otosan). The oldest brother of the family is called by his name by his parents, but called “big brother” ( Onichan) by his younger siblings. I don’t even know my wife’s first name. Just joking. However, I know none of the names of her aunts and uncles who regularly visit. This is because all of them are referred to and called “aunt’ (obachan) or “uncle” (ojisan). I find this very frustrating because they will use my name. Another problem is Japanese people will rarely introduce you to other Japanese. You just have get by introducing yourself. This creates another problem because when introducing themselves Japanese will state their full name backwards very fast. It is very hard to catch Japanese names.
Takoyaki, Japanese fast food at its finest. Balls of water- or broth-based flour batter containing bite-size pieces of octopus (tako), green onion, ginger and tempura crumbs that are cooked in a special iron grill with round molds and then glazed with a sauce. Takoyaki is sold in shops and sidewalk stalls. They taste great and are very cheap. Lets find out how they are made and what they taste like.
One of the most frustrating things foreigners go through when trying to get settled in Japan is hoshonin. Hoshonin is the system of having a guarantor. As individuals are not often fully recognized as independent entities who are responsible for their own obligations a guarantor is required for just about everything. Under this system, people who are willing to be held responsible for the actions of a second party can be become guarantors. The problem for foreigners is finding someone willing to do this. Lets face it Japanese aren’t very trusting of foreigners.
Even Japanese
Hoshonin also effects all Japanese and are required regardless of the position, character, or financial ability of the individual concerned. Some of the the situations that require hoshonin include buying something on credit, renting a house or an apartment, applying for visa or memberships in various organizations. Japan’s grouping syndrome impacts on every level of life in the country, in both personal and business matters. Trust and loyalty are primarily reserved for members of one’s own group. Whenever possible, members associate and do business only with members of their own group. This can make life very difficult if you are a foreigner.
Most foreigners requiring official hoshonin depend on employers, the schools they want to attend, Japanese friends or contacts they have . Hoshonin documentation is extremely confusing and difficult to read ( if you can read Japanese) – extremely foreigner unfriendly. Having a middle name can also complicate things greatly. Establishing contacts and asking for help is about the only way to get around the hoshonin problem.
Despite being an innovator of technology Japan still has very old and almost backward systems for banking, public services or immigration . All these services are still paper based. Something as simple as changing and address can be very time consuming requiring an incredible amount of identification and documentation and Japanese “Inkan” seal. Getting a seal is an other story.
In an amazing quirk of fate that could only happen in Japan it has taken me weeks to have my private insurance canceled in Japan. I had to provide more identification and sign and stamp more documentation that I did when I applied for an insurance plan in the first place.
