Japanese Culture – Enryo

Enryo is a form of politeness, a device for maintaining a certain distance from those one does not know well or one considers as one’s superiors. When Japanese meet someone for the first time, they tend to avoid close contact, such as a hand shake or embrace. A polite bow is the usual greeting. The distance does not necessarily mean unfriendliness, but it can certainly come across that way to new comers to Japan.

Enryo can be a somewhat time wasting and confusing social custom to foreigners. In the Westerners mindset it is Japanese being unnecessarily polite. For example, when offered a drink or food, it is courteous for Japanese to refuse what is offered at least once in order to show that they are holding back. This is being polite in Japan. What is important is show that you are not really declining the the offer, but just trying to show that you are being polite. So rather than saying a flat “no”, Japanese say something like “that would be troubling you to much”. The person making the offer will not take the response at face value . He or she will repeat the offer, saying, “please don’t hold back” with the result of the offer finally being accepted.

Most young Japanese would agree that the logic behind “enryo” at times doesn’t really add up. More and more Japanese are finding the subtle exchanges of courtesy, the art of holding back, too difficult to perform perfectly . However, enryo is still a integral part of social behavior in which Japanese take extreme pride. In casual social encounters, holding back, is highly prized and praised.

Enryo can cause a multitude of problems in the world of international relations and business. Japanese business men are acutely aware that their custom of holding back is the exactly opposed to the Western way of “holding forth”. Depending on where and how business is being done “enryo” can benefit or handicap Japanese. What Westerners should know that if they are playing by Japanese rules, then being too forward and forthright is putting yourself at a disadvantage. Japanese are more impressed with people who talk the least and who make their point by manner rather than their mouth.

Karaoke Meaning

The word “kara” means empty and “oke” referring to orchestra, “empty orchestra.” The idea being a singer performs with an orchestra that is not really there. If you have never been to a Karaoke bar it is a little bizarre when you first walk into one. A fairly large building houses lots of little small rooms. Each room has cheap, but clean vinyl furniture, a TV set, microphones, several remote controls, stacks of song books, and intercom phone and menus for food and drinks. So you can not only sing at these places, but have drinks and eat. Generally the food is junk and the drinks cheap, but nasty. You look through a song book, program a song, grab a mike and start singing.

Karaoke bars are a much needed recreational and social environment for Japanese considering the amount of daily stress the average Japanese has. At karaoke bars Japanese can let their hair down and go crazy. All is forgiven and forgotten at Karaoke bars with bosses mixing with low ranking staff hamming things up and just having a good time. Japanese who are generally shy and socially challenged don’t mind belting out a few songs in front of an audience or friends. Needless to say you can really have a good time at Karaoke bars. The enthusiasm and gusto Japanese have for karaoke has to be seen to be believed.

Okyaku-San

Now that I am a little older with close to a decade of living in Japanese under my belt I believe I do understand the word “Okyakyu-San” on a deeper level. “Okyakyu” means “honored guest” as well as customer. Adding san gives it a Mr., Mrs, or Miss. meaning. Like with most things in Japan it is all about history. Back in the good old Samurai days the hierarchically arranged society meant that in order to survive the inferior class had to provide “service”, extreme politeness and deference to their superiors. The common people were at the mercy or the elite Samurai ruling class. Although the Samurai were a “barbaric sword wielding mob” ( in Western eyes) , they did have extremely high etiquette standards. The Samurai were also in charge of enforcing them. To put in vulgar Western terms:It was kiss ass or your ass would be kicked.

This sort of set in a superior/customer is GOD type social conditioning that was ingrained in the Japanese over a period of more than a thousand years. It became an integral part of social and political systems. Etiquette was everything. It also evolved the Japanese language to extreme mind boggling polite standards. Nowadays, the concept of “Okyakyu” has weakened – there are no sword wielding mobsters keeping the high etiquette standards alive. Particularly, the formal language and certain social customs among younger Japanese is disintegrating at an alarming rate and is in fact something of a major concern.

In business customer is still God and Japanese go to great lengths to build harmonious relationships even before actually doing business. It is very different to the somewhat self absorbed “Lets do business” mentality of the west. However, it can take a while to found out just what your prospective business associates want and when and how they want to get business done. Japanese tend to build business relationship with a long term vision in mind, rather than building business to serve short term purposes or meet goals.

Going back to my realization that Japanese don’t love. I believe Japan or Japanese doesn’t have a love culture. What I mean is love isn’t valued as much as pride or “doing one’s best. I want to make myself clear. I am not talking about a “boy meets girl and falls in love” kind of love. Japanese do fall in love and have the feelings romance or “being in love”. I am talking about family love, or a love for friends and a love for people in general.  I am not saying Japanese don’t care or feel things for people or family. They certainly do care and have feelings despite having great difficultly expressing them.

Why Japanese Cant Love

What I have seen and believe is that Japanese people just don’t love each other in the sense that love is something that you do or show. Love is a  verb – love it is something you do, not just feel.  Japanese families are ….loveless.  Their culture to a large degree doesn’t allow them to love. Up until the late 70′s arranged marriages were standard with the husband’s occupation, educational background and earning potenial being the most important things to the marriage. Many parents, especially fathers, don’t ever develop friendships with there children. In fact many father’s don’t even know their children because they are never home.

When I take my own son to kinder everyday I never see any parent kiss or hug their child to express love. This really blows my mind. I am talking about 3 and 4 year olds. Even when parents pick their children up there is nothing that you could call loving going on. A smile and a pat on the head at most. Parents may pick up there child and hug or hold them, but not for an expression of love, usually to satisfy a desire for attention from the child or a dependency. In fact, I never see parents kiss or hug there children anytime. Think about. Never expressing love to your own children.

What I do see and hear are parents wanting their 3 or 4  year old children to do their best and NOT CAUSE TROUBLE. The closet a parent will come to saying “I love you” is say “Do your best” (Gambatte). This is the last thing parents will say when dropping of their children at kinder or school. Or, a wonderful playful exchange will happen between two children which might be a little bit funny or strange. Then either one of both of the parents of the children will apologize for “trouble”caused and then openly scold the their children. This is something that really astounds me  - parents warning their children not to cause any trouble for their teachers or friends every morning. Remember these are 3 or 4 year olds learning about life and just beginning to develop their social skills. The pressure begins very early at school to conform to social standards and be perfect.

I feel that Japanese have it pretty hard. It is not easy being Japanese.  I have meet many Japanese who have never experienced love. They are extremely lonely and socially awkward people leading unhappy lives. Outside of their work they have nothing or nobody to share their lives with.

Your site has lots of great content and lots of tea and related products. Can you tell us a little about your website greentealovers.com?

Its as much an informational site about healthy teas, their history, properties, preparations and effects as it is a purveyor of fine green tea — tea that I would add we drink ourselves. We started drinking these teas long before we began selling them.

What are the benefits of drinking green tea?

Since its discovery, green tea has become renowned for its pharmacological properties. While green tea is not classified as a medicine, it does contain medicinal substances. It is ranked as a leading health-giving substance in traditional Chinese medicine. Scientific research is now proving these benefits are due to the antioxidants present in green tea which have shown to be effective in preventing cancer and improving general health.

Is green tea an acquired taste?

That’s also hard to answer — it really depends on personal preference and I would argue that so many don’t prepare it optimally with the right water temperature or filtered water that the real question may be “Is badly prepared green tea an acquired taste?”. Fresh green tea prepared well is actually quite refreshing, calming and tasty — and teas like Jasmine Green or the stronger Chinese Greens really have quite unique tastes… Some might ask in the American Coffee Culture — if tea (and I don’t mean Chai Latte’s) is an acquired taste…

How many varieties of green tea are there?

Well, all tea comes form one bush Camellia Sinensis and the difference between white (steamed), green (steamed or pan fired), black (fermented) and Oolong teas (semi-fermented) is simply the processing. Types of tea are commonly graded depending on the quality and the parts of the plant used. There are large variations in both price and quality within these broad categories, and there are many specialty green teas that fall outside this spectrum. The very best Japanese green tea is said to be that from the Uji region of Kyoto.

What kind of green tea do you recommend for first time drinkers?

For straight green tea drinkers I would recommend Gyokuro or Sencha.

Gyokuro

Gyokuro tea is generally sweet and delicate in flavor. Selected from a grade of green tea known as tencha, Gyokuro is regarded as the highest grade of tea made in Japan. Gyokuro’s name refers to the pale green color of the infusion.

Sencha

The most common type of green tea in Japan. It is made from the young leaves of uncovered plants. Over three quarters of all tea produced in Japanese tea gardens is sencha. The earliest season (first month’s sencha harvest) is called shincha. Later harvests of sencha have more astringent qualities, a more robust flavor and generally less aroma.

Health Problems

If drinking for a chronic health problem I would recommend our Catechin product with a high concentration of the active ingredient in Green Tea (Catechin). People with food allergies to Catechin products like red wine, cocoa (as in dark chocolate), cherries, apples or cranberries should consult a physician before using this. However, if that isn’t an issue this really does provide a high concentration of catechin easily absorbable in ones body. Its not as tasty as our other teas because Catechin is a Tannin and Tannin is what produces astringency in tea. To learn more click here

I would also suggest for the flavor conscious — the exquisite Madame Butterfly Jasmine Green also on that page. It’s a personal favorite. For first time drinkers who needed the more robust black tea or blend tastes at an economical price I’d recommend our flavor blends which also have a jasmine blend in addition to mint, cherry, lime, Irish Breakfast etc.
How do you prepare green tea?

Well, that depends on the green tea. The primary issue is to use fresh leaves, use filtered water, boil it, let it cool down to the appropriate temperature and then infuse the leaves. When you pour boiling water directly on green tea leaves you actually burn the leaves – this bleeds out the tanin, which makes the taste more astringent, rather than allowing the tastier and sweeter amino acids to dominate the taste when using cooler (but still very hot) water. Water with different chemical contents can also radically alter the taste which is why using filtered water is recommended.

Boil water and wait for it to cool slightly by pouring it into a tea pot and then into cups to warm them and to re-measure the water. Place tea leaves and hot water in pot. Brew tea and water in teapot for a few minutes. Pour equal measures of brewed tea into cups until last drop is poured (It is said that the last drop of tea decides its taste on the whole).

Unlike serving coffee, tea needs to be served from a pot by pouring a little into each cup once. Pour some from the last cup to the first to make the amount and density the same. Do not leave water in the pot after pouring the first brew. You can enjoy the second brew by adding some more fresh hot water to the pot. When brewing tea the second time, 1/3 brewing time is adequate because water has already penetrated into the leaves.

How many cups a day do you recommend drinking?

I drink 3-5 cups a day myself. One is supposed to drink at least that much water and I alternate.

Visit Jonathan Peizer at http://www.greentealovers.com

It felt like a bit of a slap in the face at the time. I have always believed that Japanese are not racist, at least not to Hakujin (white people). However, this was yet another case of discrimination in a ,at times, backwards country with more than enough social, political and economic problems to worry than concern itself with fingerprinting every foreigner that comes into the country. Japan has been fingerprinting all foreign visitors for security measures since November 2007.

This an another example of Japanese bureaucracy wasting money and resources. Japan is only hurting herself making this move. It will make many people think twice about visiting Japan. It will especially frustrate businessmen. Just imagine you arrive at Narita airport after a 10 to 15 hour flight. Your tired and want to get to your hotel or destination and you are going to be requesting politely requested to have your fingerprints and photo taken. If you refuse you’ll be deported. This kind of bureaucratic nonsense really fuels the fire of my love-hate relationship with Japan.

I can’t think of any reasons that justifies this “security measure”. Japan has not experienced any terrorist attacks by any foreign group or individual. The only recent terrorist attack I can think of was the Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway in 1995. this attack was committed by the Japanese religious cult Aum Shnrikyo.

Japan can be a wonderful country to visit and live in. However, the longer you live there the more you realize the less you understand. After ten years and many experiences I knew that Japanese could never really be a home for my family. It was a difficult decision to leave, but it was the right decision. I certainly didn’t want my son exposed to certain aspects of Japanese culture. His mother is Japanese and he was born there, but he was always considered a foreigner or half before a Japanese because of the way he looked.  I think growing up in Japan would have been very difficult for him.

I lived in Japan for almost 10 years, married a Japanese, had a child in Japan and I couldn’t even apply for permanent residency. My wife, on the other hand was able to apply and received permanent residency immediately to my home country of Australia last year.

While these acts or obligations are common to Western relationships, the act or practice of giri is very different. When practicing giri one will not take into account one’s own suffering when serving or helping another. To use the workplace as an example, Japanese will serve their superiors with a self sacrificing devotion. Employees will even tolerate abuse and humiliation to fulfill their giri to their superiors or employers. The purpose of this devotion being support and respect for human relationships.

Possible meanings:

• Obligation, moral obligation
• Duty
• Self-sacrificing devotion

Special note:

Giri has a far more pervasive influence on the Japanese world view and culture than its English equivalent. Many foreigners dealing with the Japanese are first impressed by exquisite manners and sense of duty or commitment. However, over time most foreigners come to find these acts of giri to be hypocritical and superficial.

In the Western mindset Giri would be something similar to doing the right thing or repaying kindness. One custom or practice Japanese often find frustrating is gift giving. When Japanese receive gifts Japanese they know they must pay back the kindness and give something in return. This means that for many Japanese receiving gifts is something they wish they could avoid as they know will have to go to the trouble of buying something in return to do giri.

Should You Practice Giri?

You should be definitely aware of and practice giri if you are living in Japan. Practicing giri will help you build strong relationships and help you in the long run. You can actually build up giri with friends and associates by doing unsolicited favors. A sort of an unspoken, but very structured “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine.”

For someone new to Japan or to the Japanese language it is great because you will hear the same service phrases every time you go out to eat. It won’t be long before you can walk into a restaurant without the fear of being misunderstood. For someone living in Japan for several years you really get sick of the programmed exchange. In most places of customer service Japanese follow a strict code  of “by the book” service. Of course some staff are friendlier than others and may make a comment or show a smile, but generally everyone behaves in exactly the same way. Straying from this  “by the book” service is frowned upon and considered time wasting.

I have worked in restaurants in Japan myself and learned not to talk to customers “too much” and just stick to the manual. I also have discovered restaurants aren’t generally customer friendly when it comes to requesting slight changes to menu items. Try ordering a pizza without onions and chances are they just can’t do it.  It is quite funny. If you do ask for changes on a menu item the waiter or waitress will give you a perplexed look and then run off to the manager. He or she will then return to tell you it can’t be done because of “quality control” or some other bizarre reason. If you are a vegetarian life is going to be difficult in Japan.

Some people may argue that they don’t like to be disturbed when eating out by staff and just want to order and eat -  fair enough. However, I do thinking I am losing my brain when I am at a restaurant and I order two things off the menu and then have the waitress announce to me that she will repeat my order, have my order repeated, then told that the “drink bar” is on my right 3 meters away by the entrance (as if I hadn’t seen it). Keep in mind that I have been served by the same staff before and that I am a regular customer of the establishment.

I sometimes think that rather than being a teacher the average Eiakiawa teacher is a part coach part entertainer. Japanese students are very teacher dependent. You have to “baby” students English with simple exercise and drills. Getting them to freely talk and express their opinions is very difficult and at times frustrating. Also, all students have a confidence problem and will never recognize there own ability or improvement. Students will speak negatively of their ability even when they are reasonably fluent. “I can’t speak English very well” and “I’m not good at English” are proclamations you hear all the time. Some Japanese are also ashamed to use there language skills. They hide there skills or again just speak badly of their ability.

English Teachers

Qualified Teachers: Qualified teachers coming to Japan should know that unless you are working at a University your teaching qualification won’t really make you any more important than anyone with a any kind of degree or anyone without a degree. There is just too much demand for teachers. Most companies are solely focused on making money rather than providing quality teaching. Not trying to discount anyone with a degree, but your education and qualification would most likely not prepare you for English conversational lessons in Japan. At most schools you teach 2 to 8 students, usually about 4. The environment is not a like classroom. It is usually a small room where everyone sits down while the teacher coaches students.

NOVA

NOVA: The Eikaiwa Giant finally bit the dust. It was just a matter of time. It actually blows my mind when I think about how large and how much consumer trust the company had. NOVA had about %45 market share of the Eikaiwa School industry. In the year2005, NOVA had almost 500,000 students. It is extremely unfortunate for the 6000 staff who have lost their jobs and haven’t been paid for the last few months. Also thousands, and I do mean thousands, of students have lost a lot of cash. Some students had purchased 3 year contracts and other students had paid for contracts for kids classes for 2008. They will get nothing. However, the warning signs were there for about 6 months. Anyone who joined NOVA in the last 6 months were far too trusting or just plain stupid.

Japanase Universities

University jobs: These are the jobs to get. The money is excellent. I work part time at a Fine Arts university. Admittedly it is not the greatest university out there, but the money is very good. I receive about US$95 for a 80 minute lesson. I can do pretty much what I want. I have no homework or reports to write or anything like like. However, I am required to try and get classes of 15 to 30 students conversing. This is near impossible. When Japanese get together in large numbers they just switch off completely. They say nothing, no eye contact, no facial expressions. I pretty much get zero participation with my students. Forget about the polite diligent student. That is a myth. Students won’t greet me, they roll up 30 minutes late for a class and say nothing, sleep during lessons and never do their homework.

When I think about the industry and the huge demand for teachers and products in Japan it just blows my mind. A culture or society conditioned not to express their inner feelings or thoughts, and in my opinion socially challenged, compared to other cultures or countries, spends millions and millions of dollars on learning English. Students learn English with no real goal in mind, and are often afraid or ashamed to use their English abroad. Learning English is more of a hobby, than about learning a skill in Japan.

I believe whales should be protected and respected. I am all for a total whale ban. However, living in Japan for so long had given me more of a balanced understanding of whaling and what it is to Japan. On two occasions I have eaten whale. The first occasion I was unaware of what I was eating and on the second I was in a position where I felt I was strongly compelled to eat it. My employer at the time had taken me and my mother out to dinner. He was the president of a large chain of restaurants. He ordered the whale meat especially for my mother and I. I felt it would be insulting to not eat the meat. It was actually raw whale meat. It was cold and quite tough. I felt it really didn’t taste all that good.

Why Japan whales

Japan’s whaling certain gives the country a very bad public image in New Zealand and Australia. I have spoken to many Japanese about this and they find it difficult to understand. Whale meat is pretty much on a par with beef. Japan don’t see whale as wonderful majestic mammals. Unfortunate as it is they see them as a food source and viable industry.

In fairness to Japan it should be known that the reality is most Japanese don’t eat whale. A majority of my friends and students have in fact never eaten whale. Traditionally whale was a cheap source of protein for the Japanese diet and was prepared for school lunches. In elementary school in Japan lunch is provided for students. Now , most Japanese now don’t eat whale, either because they choose not too or because it is not sold at most supermarkets. It has now become more a delicacy served at expensive restaurants.

The arguments the Japanese make for whaling is that it is a tradition, a food source and that they use the entire whale carcass for not only food, but oil and materials for crafts. Japan believe they have a right to choose it’s own food source and hunt what it wants.

I guess what makes New Zealand, Australia and the US angry are the lies, and dirty work Japan does to go about getting a ban on commercial whale hunting lifted. Japan maintains that it hunts whale for scientific research. I am not sure as why Japan needs to research whales or the kind of research it does. It is interesting to note that since the International Whaling Commission suspension on commercial whaling in 1987 Japan has managed to steadily increased it’s catch of whales under its special permit for scientific research, from 273 in 1987 to over 1200 in 2005. Japan also hunts very close to New Zealand and Australia. In recent years there have been dangerous classes with protesters and whaling boats.

Japan has also been accused of bribing developing countries to help them get votes to pass a resolution calling for the return of commercial whaling. Japan has also threatened to pull out of the International Whaling Commission altogether. Japan also believes whales are depleting fish stocks.