If you have read my post Speak Japanese - the importance of verbs you’ll know that Japanese often speak with just verbs, dropping the subject or object if they are understood by both the speaker and listener. For this reason Japanese speakers can come across as being very vague or indirect to a Western mindset or way of thinking.
I still struggle to understand my beautiful, lovey wife at times. She will often say a word or two, usually a verb, and drop all context - the subject and object. It is not that I don’t understand the word or words she says. There is just no reference for me to work out what her point is. Then I’ll have to ask for more detail to work out what she wants to communicate. This a general trait Japanese conversation. Japanese are quite conscious of how they present or say things to avoid conflict or confrontation. It is also a habitual trait that Japanese develop at a very young age. More often that not saying less communicates more in Japanese culture.
So it is really important to learn verbs and understand and accept how Japanese communicate. Learn as many verb forms and verbs as you can. So get started on the plain form basic Japanese verbs video lesson below. If you find it helpful leave a comment or if you have any questions on learning Japanese ask away.
Yesterday, I had a bit of a blue ( an intense argument) with one of my Japanese friends regarding a question he asked a foreigner. Several weeks ago at a small festival some foreigners were selling kebabs. I wasn’t sure where they were from, but was quite sure they weren’t native English speakers. It didn’t really matter. I just wanted to order one of the kebabs they were selling. We spoke to each other in Japanese when I made my order.
Then one of my Japanese friends happened to by walking by. Naturally we greeted each other and had a chat. I was eating my kebab at this time. He saw I was eating my kebab and saw the foreigners. As they were working they were speaking Japanese loudly and fluently. They were busy serving customers. My Japanese friend walked over to one of them and asked “Where are you from?” in English. The foreigner ignored the question and just continued working. I told my friend off saying he shouldn’t have asked him that question and also that he should have spoken to him in Japanese and not English.
So yesterday when I met my friend again we argued. He is a very good friend so we are blatantly honest with each other. We were drinking and he brought up the incident and said he had done nothing wrong when he asked the foreigner were he was from in English. I disagreed and tried to explain myself and gave him some advice. My argument was that Japanese should speak to foreigners in Japanese in Japan at first point of contact. Most Japanese assume foreigners can’t speak Japanese. Japanese will rarely give foreigner the benefit of the doubt. I also said his question was pathetic and inappropriate. The “Where are from?” question and resulting conversation becomes almost a weekly ritual in Japan for foreigners. Needless to say you get sick of Japanese asking you the same questions.
Japanese are socially challenged and by there own omission generally fear foreigners. This is something you will have to get used to and not take personally in Japan. It is a result of lack of “worldly experience”, and experience in communication with people in general. Japanese are poor verbal communicators. In fact Japanese pride themselves that they can communicate feelings and thoughts to family members without the spoken word. Japanese have strong assumptions about all foreigners and are conditioned , almost programmed, to ask the same questions. At the core of each of these questions is the underlying statement – “you are not one of us”.
So here they are, the questions you’ll soon hate to be asked if you
live in Japan for an extended period of time.
1.Are you American?
2.Where are you from?
3.Can you eat Natto?
4.Do you like Japan?
5.Have you ever eaten sushi?
It gets worse!
Some Japanese won’t even give you the courtesy of speaking directly to you. Often when I am with Japanese friends if we meet other Japanese questions will be asked about me, but not directly to me. They are the same silly “where are you from?” questions, but your friends will be asked the question instead . It is quite surreal because you feel ignored yet you are the topic of the conversation. Now, I think in most countries this kind of behavior is rude and generally unacceptable, but in Japan because of the “outsider mentality” in is common and a natural social reflex custom. Then if you point out that you can in fact speak Japanese often what happens then is the conversation ends and you are ignored.
One of the most interesting and colorful aspects to Japanese is the increabile use of onomatopeia.
Onomatopoeia are words that reflect the sound things make. And for you, the student, learning onomatopiea will be lots of fun. Unfortunately onomatopeia is rarely taught in the classroom. However, it should be becuase it is very much an interal part of conversational and written Japanese.
If you want to learn Japanese start learning onomatopeia. Onomatopeia is often thought as children book or comic language by non-Japanese teachers and some linguist. This could be one of the reasons why Japanese onomatopeia is not taught in the classroom.
Japanese has a rich onomatopoeic vocabulary, with several thousand words to describe the various
sounds things make as in the “the cat goes mewo”. Also there is mimesis, words to describe the state
of things. For example, “the tree stood looming”. It is important to realize that onomatopoeia can be used to make both grammatical and natural sounding sentences or language. This is not the case for English.
One of the first times you’ll probably hear the use onomatopoeia is in relation to rain or water. There are hundreds of onomatopoeia to desrcibe rain and , namely how it falls and how it lands. In Japanese, a statement such as “the water went drip drip down the sink” can mean various different things depending on the exact choice of onomatopoeia for “drip drip”. One could for instance use “taratara” which is the sound of a steady regular dripping, or “daradara”, which is a heavier sound. One could also use “botabota”,which is a fuller sound and implies big drops, or “tarari tarati” which would imply it’s only dripping intermittently. One could even use “pisha”, so that it’s the sound of only a single drophitting something.
As you can see Japanese onomatpoeia is a very complex use of sound words, something which in English is simply impossible because it lacks both the vocabulary for it, as well as the acceptance of using onomatopoeia in regular speech.
One custom of Japanese culture that Japanese themselves at times despise is “giri”. A dictionary will tell you that giri means obligation. However, to understand giri you really need to be Japanese. Giri is a way of living. From a very young age Japanese are bound by specific degrees of obligation to themselves, to their parents, their siblings, and to others who touch their lives. In short giri implies the give-and-take principle in social interaction taken to the extreme in Japan. It is a concept which drives Japanese to fulfill there life’s duties as a …….well ……Japanese.
As Japanese feels morally obligated to return a favor to those who have helped him or her in some way they do spend a great deal of time sorting out their giri. My wife is usually a little peeved when she or I receives a gift of some sort because she knows that she will have to go out and buy something to “pay back the giri”. I often forget how much giri is a part of the Japanese way of life. Then I will find myself with my wife wasting time and money buying a gift for someone who I don’t really know. I often suggest to my wife not worry about giri and just accept the gift or favor without any sense of obligation to return the giri. However, giri is so infused with the Japanese way of life that one will surely feel shame if they don’t return the favor.
The concept of giri to non-Japanese seems fickle and very…Japanese. I should also point out that Japanese generally only do giri with Japanese. Perhaps the obligation of giri is something that Japanese feel non-Japanese wouldn’t understand. I must say that giri does take away the good will, thoughtfulness or happy feelings associated with gift giving or helping out. Gifts aren’t usually gifts in Japan, that are some form of payback. If someone helps you out, then you owe them.
Acts of Giri
Acts of giri include such things as sending and giving gifts, attending weddings and funerals, and avoiding actions that would harm anyones’ reputation. My father in-law is the oldest son of a large family seven brothers and sisters. This makes him the big wig of the family. He is a very successful potter and the local community “God father” (he is not Yakuza). Anyway, not one week goes by without him either going to a wedding or funeral. He also constantly receives gifts of rice, beer, noddles, cakes and whatnot from friends, distant family and business associates.
The feeling of obligation also extend to relations between businesses. Companies generally continue doing business with companies that have helped them out or provided good service in the past. They will continue business relations even if it not the the companies best interest to do so. Workers will often not leave a job that are unhappy with because of the giri they feel they owe to their boss or co-workers. Aren’t you glad you’re not Japanese!?
Japanese culture – there are two cultures in Japan. The traditional culture that most people seem fascinated by and attracted to. Then there is the modern culture which is equally fascinating, but quite dark and depressing.
Traditional culture includes Japanese Tea Ceremony, flower arrangement, Haiku (Japanese poetry), calligraphy, martial arts such as Karate and sumo, Hanami (cherry blossom viewing) and origami to name a few. However, this culture is being replaced by a new emerging culture and it isn’t pretty . School bulling, suicide, group suicides, school girl prostitution, shopping addiction, loveless marriages and broken families , television and computer game addiction….the list could go on and on.
When first coming to Japan I was overwhelmed by the culture and the friendliness of the people. I am still amazed by the culture, the food, the history and people. However, after living in Japan for 10 years I can no longer turn a blind eye to certain aspects of the lifestyle and the new emerging culture. Usually I am fairly protective of Japan and try to defend Japanese opinion, but opinions and facts are indeed very different things.
The Dark Side of Japanese Culture
School bulling in Japan is reaching epidemic proportions..well not really…but it certainly seems that way with the number of news stories on the subject. It is growing problem with which Japanese society lacks the compassion and responsibility to do anything about. I think it also underscores the problems with lack of love and relationship in families. School bullying has led to an increase in childhood and teenage suicide.
More than 100 people take their live everyday in Japan. In the news group suicides are now monthly news stories. Internet suicide web sites have become one of Japan’s most morbid trends — total strangers making arrangements online to kill themselves together. Rather than searching for support services to to get help, Japanese are now looking at these suicide web sites as the answer to their unhappy lives. Suicide web sites are easy to find. Japanese people post their feelings and details of their troubled lives in the hope to find someone to suicide with. Some post include exchanges on methods of suicide and lists of materials necessary for self-asphyxiation. The group suicides usually take place inside sealed cars, where people burn charcoal so that they will die of carbon monoxide poisoning.
Japan has had a homeless problem since the economic bubble burst in the early 1990s and unemployment began to rise. I remember once offering a homeless man a pizza in Shinjuku because I was so shocked to see him eating rice out a garbage can. Unfortunately, it became all-to-familiar site and I made efforts to avoid homeless people when they approached me as I walked to my teaching job in the morning.
In most major cities you will see homeless people.
Currently in Osaka there are more than 10,000 homeless people living in the city. The majority of the homeless are single men aged in the late fifties. Most of them victims of of the construction industry, day laborers who toiled without fringe benefits to help Japan flourish in the postwar era. The recession hit contractors hard and they have been out of work for years.
Many of the homeless are desperate for a job. But there are no jobs and no hope for their future. There is also little in the way of support from the government, and no compassion from people, even family members. In fact most of the homeless are systematically eliminated from society. The average homeless man is e middle or older-aged and single. They have difficult finding jobs because companies believe married men will work more strenuously, since husbands in Japan are usually the sole breadwinners.
Japan’s homeless problem is attributed to the deeply rooted discrimination of old age- a unique aspect of the problem of homelessness in Japan. While homeless people suffer from low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, age discrimination reinforces their sense of alienation. This is coming from a culture that many westers percieve respects the older generation. Homless people are considered to be stubborn, inflexible, weak, and forgetful because of their age. Because they are alienated from society for a long time, they don’t expect to be spoken to.
