Wanna learn how to speak Japanese? Well, first of all, it is not easy unless you have a great teacher who is honest enough to teach you how Japanese do speak instead of text book nonsense. Learning how to speak Japanese is basically learning how to become Japanese. If you want to speak like a native you need to learn how Japanese behave. You ‘ll need to adopt many Japanese customs and mimic Japanese behaviour as well.
Most students learn Japanese the wrong way for several months or even years. Text book lessons at school and university can only give you a basic understanding of the Japanese language – grammar structure, vocabulary, the kana syllabaries and maybe a few hundred kanji. Learning how to speak Japanese involves a lot of cultural understanding and social conformity.
Japanese use very few words to express their thoughts and feelings. You’ll hear Japanese say the same things all the time. More often than not Japanese express interest, surprise, happiness and other emotions with only a few quirky phrases and sometimes with wordless cries and grunts. If you watch a game show you’ll audiences scream out the same wordless expression in unison when something shocking is presented to them. Very bizarre.
You’ll discover that for the most of their time Japanese don’t speak politely at all. For example, Japanese has no equivalent for “Pardon”. Instead when something is misunderstood in a conversation the confused listener will just blurt out “Ha!”. Sometimes my wife speaks to me and I have to control myself from feeling a little abused or offended. She’ll “rudely” blurt out one word and expect me to understand whatever it is she is trying to tell me. I used to get home from work and the first thing she would say to me as I walked in the door would be an aggressive “Gohan ha?”. This basically means something like “Do you want dinner?” or “Have you had dinner?”. However, if you translated the expression it would be just “Dinner!!?” . It would often give me the impression that my wife wasn’t happy to see me return home and that getting dinner was something she wanted to get quickly out of the way.
To be Japanese you got to do what everyone else does. I am often amazed at how easily Japanese can be assimilated and culturally conditioned. The peace sign is a classical example of this. Every time a Japanese has a photo taken of themselves they will do the peace sign. I found this to be extremely frustrating when having photos taken with Japanese. I went to great lengths to prevent my 4 year old son from being peace sign brain washed while he attend kindergarten in Japan.
How To Speak Japanese Like a Native
To speak Japanese like a native you’ll need to have a split personality. You can be yourself for most of the time, but when you meet acquaintances or work colleagues you will have to put on a bit of an act and meet certain social criteria – being polite or ass kissing.
And finally speaking Japanese will mean you won’t be able to say what you feel or believe for part of the time. The worst thing you can do is cause any kind of conflict or trouble for anyone. So you have to learn to hold back your real thoughts and bite your tongue. So the challenge for speaking Japanese is learning who Japanese are and how they behave. Accepting the culture and learning not to be always yourself is what it takes to be a good speaker of the Japanese language.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I AGREE with the author on his comments regarding Japanese-learning at say a University. The vast majority of classes taught outside of Japan will teach you Tokyo-super-polite Japanese, that frankly is used for introductions, work environments, and only a few other places. It is rarely used in most social gatherings among friends and family.
I’m currently studying at Waseda University for a year and honestly the difference between what I learned in class and “real life” was really overwhelming at first (and in many ways still is). To become truly proficient or even fluent in a new language will undoubtedly entail some level of cultural understanding and perhaps social conformity… however this is true for other countries and languages as well.
I DISAGREE with your comments about the lack of politeness in Japanese. Japanese is inherently polite (i.e. keigo: sempai vs. kouhai, etc.) ad nauseam. The trouble with Japanese however, is that you can’t always take things literally. Yes, if you literally translate “gohan ha?” you get “talking about food/rice?” with the implication that you may or may not want it (i.e. maybe you ate already). That said, it’s neither polite nor rude; to take it as otherwise is to be overly analytical. I will concede that perhaps there is some adjustment to hearing such quick phrases… that’s partially why non-”polite” speech is so different – as words and particles, are often dropped.
Japanese is often indirect and I believe that is the most frustrating aspect of it. Especially within a Japanese kaisha (company) for example, things are often said in a lengthy-round-about-way to maintain “honor” and often save face. Ultimately this is just an aspect of the culture. Likewise with drunken 40+ year old “sarari-man” – salary men – who are literally throwing up and pissing in alley ways and subways.
To be perfectly honest, stating that you were frustrated about taking photos with people who flash the peace sign, I believe is a sign that you don’t adjust or adapt well to different customs. Why honestly does that bother you so much? And clearly it must to if you are training your son to take pictures “normally”. Which is why it is also ironic that you preach Japanese fluency through the adoption of Japanese behaviors and customs… when it appears that such simple things can be so “frustrating” for you.
Split personality? Have you worked in your host country? I can’t think of any work environment, regardless of language, where you won’t be polite to your colleagues and certainly your boss. Ass kissing? I see this happen all the time in the U.S. I’m not even sure what you’re contrasting here really?
Finally, what qualifies a good speaker of any language… basically comes down to: comprehension, pronunciation, grammar, fluency of speech and recognition. Culture is of course too, however it is something best learned while living in the host country. Classrooms can only do so much in this regard.
WOW! Thanks for reading my blog and your long comment. I can certainly appreciate your perspective. I agree with most of what you have written. I always try to be honest in my posts rather than paint a picture that everything about Japan is wonderful.
Regarding the “peace sign” you have to remember that this will happen all the time. I have never experienced it in another country A first it seems fun. I even did it for a few years. However, if you live in Japan for years an years eventually you get sick of seeing photo after photo where the peace sign is being flashed – it just makes the photos look unnatural and can ruin some great shots. You begin to question why it is done. Ask why Japanese do this and they are unable to answer you.
I didn’t explain myself in post every well. I wouldn’t call the peace sign “culture” or a “custom” . I would call the actual behavior of Japanese doing things everyone else does and not thinking about it as an individual an aspect of Japanese culture. The peace sign is not the culture – the fact that most Japanese, even adults, do it without thinking is an example of social conditioning – this is Japanese culture. Sometimes I don’t think this is always a good thing. The peace sign is harmless – it is the social conditiong behind it that is not appealing to me. So yes, it does bother me for a variety of reasons. What are your thoughts on the peace sign in photos? Is it something you prefer to see in your own photos? Do you peace sign most of your photos now that you are in Japan?
When you live in Japan for many years, 10 years, you won’t like everything you see or experience. Just because I didn’t appreciate the peace sign in photos didn’t mean I didn’t adjust to Japanese customs. You are right – small things tend to be the hardest things to accept when living in Japan. I am sure there are things that you find or will find frustrating about living in Japan. I don’t think this is a bad thing. So I think you are being a harsh with your accusations about my relationship with Japanese culture.
My split personality comment refers to 本音 and 建前.
Honne (本音?) refers to a person’s true feelings and desires. These may be contrary to what is expected by society or what is required according to one’s position and circumstances, and they are often kept hidden, except with one’s closest friends.
Tatemae (建前?), literally “façade,” is the behavior and opinions one displays in public. Tatemae is what is expected by society and required according to one’s position and circumstances, and these may or may not match one’s honne.
Japanese will admit this and openly talk about how it effects them to foreigners.
I am sure you would know or have heard about as you are living in Japan. Japanese will day in and day out not do what they want or not say what they feel to satisfy other people or to fit in particularly in the work place. Good or bad – it doesn’t really matter. This is an aspect of Japanese culture that influences the way Japanese behave and speak. Far more than any other county.
I am not American, but ass kissing is done for completely different reasons in the US. I am also sure that you are pretty much the same person in the workplace as you are at home in the US. I don’t think you dramatically change the way you behave or speak in the workplace.
Yes, I have worked in Japan. Things are very different to my country. Australians generally believe in being open and true to oneself and others. We rarely have to change who we are in order to be polite or fit in. We don’t treat bosses differently to co-workers. Our work culture is based on mateship which embodies equality, loyalty and friendship. Ass kissing or not being ourselves is something we are not into.
So I do think there is a contrast. And I not saying it is good or bad. I am just informing my readers that it exists in Japan and that knowing this is important to learning Japanese.That is what makes it an interesting country and culture.
Anyway, thanks for the comments and look forward to more – maybe with the accusations! Peace – with the sign! – Y.
Truthfully I stumbled upon your blog by accident, although I’m glad I did. Your posts are well written and are interesting/compelling. Also, it is always nice to hear another foreigner’s perspective on Japan.
Sorry about the accusations, I may have been overly accusatory, however I was relating it to the impression I got from this blog post – the first one I stumbled upon and read.
In regards again to the peace sign in pictures, perhaps I’m partially biased. For the record, I’m half-Japanese on my mother’s side, so growing up with Asian-Americans, maybe I too was preconditioned to the peace-sign-in-pictures. Thinking back on it, it was more common to do around my Asian-American friends and lesser, or non-existent amongst nearly everyone else. Also in light of that, in the U.S., especially as children it was common to do the “bunny-ears” in photos… which is a lesser phenomenon than the peace-sign is for Japan, but it occurs never-the-less and to some degree in the same vein. I have no idea why it started or why people still occasionally do it.
An example photo of former U.S. President Bush Sr. –> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e7/Bunny_ears.jpg
On a momentary tangent, I’ve heard that in the U.K. and Australia, the two-finger sign can be a derogatory or offensive insult?
From my perspective growing up in the U.S., which is basically a giant cultural melting pot, cultural assimilation on some level is inevitable. I don’t think it’s an entirely a bad thing either… but I digress.
I had actually not heard of 本音 (honne) or 建前 (tatemae) before. I had heard of 義理 (giri) and 人情 (ninjou), which appear to be somewhat similar concepts. I’m aware of the general trends of 本音 and 建前, but I can’t say I’ve experienced it first hand (least not that I’m aware of).
Yes some things I certainly find irritating about Japan. For example, my morning hour commute to school, which always consists of a train that is so absurdly packed that people are literally sweating on each other… and yet somehow still manages to shove more people in at each stop along the way. In the grand scheme of things though, it’s just a relatively mild irritation that people in Japan grow up with and foreigners adapt to.
More importantly however (bear in mind I’m 20 and this has been the first 5 months I’ve spent in Japan), is that since coming here I feel like I’ve surprisingly found new appreciation for many things back in my home country. Even just minor conveniences like having a clothes dryer (not because I mind hanging my clothes outside to dry, so much as I like fabric softener, the ease of removing lint, and just the soft warmness of clothes fresh out of the dryer!).
Anyway, thanks for the fast reply, I wasn’t even sure if I would get one!
P.S. – A blog entry that might be interesting would relate to growing up half-Japanese in Japan (maybe it’s a post for your son to write in the future). It’s often an interesting and sometimes unpleasant experience (children can be pretty ruthless… and hapas tend to take their fair share of it – especially going to a standard Japanese school – rather than an international one). As we get older though, hapas are often perceived as unique or exotic even, which isn’t really a bad thing.