Japanese Culture – Enryo

Enryo is a form of politeness, a device for maintaining a certain distance from those one does not know well or one considers as one’s superiors. When Japanese meet someone for the first time, they tend to avoid close contact, such as a hand shake or embrace. A polite bow is the usual greeting. The distance does not necessarily mean unfriendliness, but it can certainly come across that way to new comers to Japan.

Enryo can be a somewhat time wasting and confusing social custom to foreigners. In the Westerners mindset it is Japanese being unnecessarily polite. For example, when offered a drink or food, it is courteous for Japanese to refuse what is offered at least once in order to show that they are holding back. This is being polite in Japan. What is important is show that you are not really declining the the offer, but just trying to show that you are being polite. So rather than saying a flat “no”, Japanese say something like “that would be troubling you to much”. The person making the offer will not take the response at face value . He or she will repeat the offer, saying, “please don’t hold back” with the result of the offer finally being accepted.

Most young Japanese would agree that the logic behind “enryo” at times doesn’t really add up. More and more Japanese are finding the subtle exchanges of courtesy, the art of holding back, too difficult to perform perfectly . However, enryo is still a integral part of social behavior in which Japanese take extreme pride. In casual social encounters, holding back, is highly prized and praised.

Enryo can cause a multitude of problems in the world of international relations and business. Japanese business men are acutely aware that their custom of holding back is the exactly opposed to the Western way of “holding forth”. Depending on where and how business is being done “enryo” can benefit or handicap Japanese. What Westerners should know that if they are playing by Japanese rules, then being too forward and forthright is putting yourself at a disadvantage. Japanese are more impressed with people who talk the least and who make their point by manner rather than their mouth.

It felt like a bit of a slap in the face at the time. I have always believed that Japanese are not racist, at least not to Hakujin (white people). However, this was yet another case of discrimination in a ,at times, backwards country with more than enough social, political and economic problems to worry than concern itself with fingerprinting every foreigner that comes into the country. Japan has been fingerprinting all foreign visitors for security measures since November 2007.

This an another example of Japanese bureaucracy wasting money and resources. Japan is only hurting herself making this move. It will make many people think twice about visiting Japan. It will especially frustrate businessmen. Just imagine you arrive at Narita airport after a 10 to 15 hour flight. Your tired and want to get to your hotel or destination and you are going to be requesting politely requested to have your fingerprints and photo taken. If you refuse you’ll be deported. This kind of bureaucratic nonsense really fuels the fire of my love-hate relationship with Japan.

I can’t think of any reasons that justifies this “security measure”. Japan has not experienced any terrorist attacks by any foreign group or individual. The only recent terrorist attack I can think of was the Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway in 1995. this attack was committed by the Japanese religious cult Aum Shnrikyo.

Japan can be a wonderful country to visit and live in. However, the longer you live there the more you realize the less you understand. After ten years and many experiences I knew that Japanese could never really be a home for my family. It was a difficult decision to leave, but it was the right decision. I certainly didn’t want my son exposed to certain aspects of Japanese culture. His mother is Japanese and he was born there, but he was always considered a foreigner or half before a Japanese because of the way he looked.  I think growing up in Japan would have been very difficult for him.

I lived in Japan for almost 10 years, married a Japanese, had a child in Japan and I couldn’t even apply for permanent residency. My wife, on the other hand was able to apply and received permanent residency immediately to my home country of Australia last year.

While these acts or obligations are common to Western relationships, the act or practice of giri is very different. When practicing giri one will not take into account one’s own suffering when serving or helping another. To use the workplace as an example, Japanese will serve their superiors with a self sacrificing devotion. Employees will even tolerate abuse and humiliation to fulfill their giri to their superiors or employers. The purpose of this devotion being support and respect for human relationships.

Possible meanings:

• Obligation, moral obligation
• Duty
• Self-sacrificing devotion

Special note:

Giri has a far more pervasive influence on the Japanese world view and culture than its English equivalent. Many foreigners dealing with the Japanese are first impressed by exquisite manners and sense of duty or commitment. However, over time most foreigners come to find these acts of giri to be hypocritical and superficial.

In the Western mindset Giri would be something similar to doing the right thing or repaying kindness. One custom or practice Japanese often find frustrating is gift giving. When Japanese receive gifts Japanese they know they must pay back the kindness and give something in return. This means that for many Japanese receiving gifts is something they wish they could avoid as they know will have to go to the trouble of buying something in return to do giri.

Should You Practice Giri?

You should be definitely aware of and practice giri if you are living in Japan. Practicing giri will help you build strong relationships and help you in the long run. You can actually build up giri with friends and associates by doing unsolicited favors. A sort of an unspoken, but very structured “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine.”

When applied to Japanese society, equality is often take to mean that one is treated just like other members in a group to which one belongs, and fair treatment is guaranteed as long as one observes the groups internal rules. If you are not of the group then you won’t be treated equally. Not being part of a group or not being allowed to part of a group is known as “nakama-hazure”. In most countries this type of behavior would be typical in the school yard. In Japan it is common place regardless of age.

Bullying is recognized as a huge problem in Japan. Japanese are conditioned to be homogeneous from a very young to such a degree that anyone who doesn’t fit in is somewhat deserving of being bullied. Without a doubt, Japanese who voluntarily deviate from mainstream norms are subject to discrimination usually due to sexuality, religious beliefs and political views and academic backgrounds.

To the majority of Japanese, the worst way in which they can be discriminated against is by what is referred to as “mura-hachibu” or village ostracism. In olden times, this meant to be excluded from social interaction with other in one’s village. In modern Japan, it means to be excluded from one’s group, so that members are likely to face difficulties. They may not be invited to social gatherings. They may not be offered help when needed. They may have delayed promotions at work, and so on.

Being An Outsider

I often feel fortunate to be a minority living in Japan. Japanese have no expectation of me to be Japanese in any manner. So I am free of cultural complexities such as “giri” and “enryo”. There have been moments were discrimination has boarded on racism, but I know that I am and always will be an outsider in Japan so I rarely take such social discrimination personally. I have been refused service in bars and shops, my Japanese has been made fun of, car doors have been locked by drivers as I have walked by their running cars, and strangers have ignored my request for directions on the odd occasion. Nothing too terrible, but just reminders that I am not of the majority.

So expect a little discrimination when you come to Japan and try not to take it personally. Keep in mind, that anyone in Japan, such as minority groups, can be subject to discrimination in Japanese society. The Japanese concepts of equality and discrimination are defined by feelings based on case-by-case situations rather than by clear-cut laws and/or principles.

Dear Nick,

Thank you so much for your enjoyable lessons every time! After class last week, I was thinking about what you told us. I do understand you have some stressful life in Japan. I know travelling and living in another country is quite different. I think Japanese people are generally kind and friendly but it would be hard for the people from other countries to live in Japan. The way of life, the tradition, local customs, human relations, and so on.

Tajimi is a small town and we hardly get to know non-Japanese people in everyday life, and most of us speak only Japanese. If you lived in some other big cities like Tokyo, Kobe, Yokohama or Nagoya, you life might be comfortable. You are such a nice and friendly person who tries to understand our culture and way of living, even though you have had some unpleasant experiences. you are fed up of being asked something rude, for example, “Are you American?” They wouldn’t know it is rude. 
 

Since the World War II ended, Japanese people have been strongly influenced by the USA. Probably “Gaijin” means “American” for them. I guess. Well, I have textbooks called “Modern English”. I got in the 1970′s, and the first dialog is written like this. “Excuse me.  Are you American ?” “Yes, I am from New York”.  When I heard your “grumble” last week, I remembered this dialog. In those days the characters in the text were only American and Japanese. I have a recent English textbook for junior high school students, and the characters are  American, Australian, Indian, Chinese, Tanzanian and Japanese. Excellent, isn’t it?!

I cannot express well what I think, also my listening comprehension is still poor, but I enjoy learning English from you. It’s good to know the words we learned at school or from dictionaries but native speakers don’t use actually.  Looking forward to you next lesson.

Traditional culture includes Japanese Tea Ceremony, flower arrangement, Haiku (Japanese poetry), calligraphy, martial arts such as Karate and sumo, Hanami (cherry blossom viewing) and origami to name a few. However, this culture is being replaced by a new emerging culture and it isn’t pretty . School bulling, suicide, group suicides, school girl prostitution, shopping addiction, loveless marriages and broken families , television and computer game addiction….the list could go on and on.

When first coming to Japan I was overwhelmed by the culture and the friendliness of the people. I am still amazed by the culture, the food, the history and people. However, after living in Japan for 10 years I can no longer turn a blind eye to certain aspects of the lifestyle and the new emerging culture. Usually I am fairly protective of Japan and try to defend Japanese opinion, but opinions and facts are indeed very different things.

The Dark Side of Japanese Culture

School bulling in Japan is reaching epidemic proportions..well not really…but it certainly seems that way with the number of news stories on the subject. It is growing problem with which Japanese society lacks the compassion and responsibility to do anything about. I think it also underscores the problems with lack of love and relationship in families. School bullying has led to an increase in childhood and teenage suicide.

More than 100 people take their live everyday in Japan. In the news group suicides are now monthly news stories. Internet suicide web sites have become one of Japan’s most morbid trends — total strangers making arrangements online to kill themselves together. Rather than searching for support services to to get help, Japanese are now looking at these suicide web sites as the answer to their unhappy lives. Suicide web sites are easy to find. Japanese people post their feelings and details of their troubled lives in the hope to find someone to suicide with. Some post include exchanges on methods of suicide and lists of materials necessary for self-asphyxiation. The group suicides usually take place inside sealed cars, where people burn charcoal so that they will die of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Japan has had a homeless problem since the economic bubble burst in the early 1990s and unemployment began to rise. I remember once offering a homeless man a pizza in Shinjuku because I was so shocked to see him eating rice out a garbage can. Unfortunately, it became all-to-familiar site and I made efforts to avoid homeless people when they approached me as I walked to my teaching job in the morning.
In most major cities you will see homeless people.

Currently in Osaka there are more than 10,000 homeless people living in the city. The majority of the homeless are single men aged in the late fifties. Most of them victims of of the construction industry, day laborers who toiled without fringe benefits to help Japan flourish in the postwar era. The recession hit contractors hard and they have been out of work for years.
Many of the homeless are desperate for a job. But there are no jobs and no hope for their future. There is also little in the way of support from the government, and no compassion from people, even family members. In fact most of the homeless are systematically eliminated from society. The average homeless man is e middle or older-aged and single. They have difficult finding jobs because companies believe married men will work more strenuously, since husbands in Japan are usually the sole breadwinners.

Japan’s homeless problem is attributed to the deeply rooted discrimination of old age- a unique aspect of the problem of homelessness in Japan. While homeless people suffer from low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy, age discrimination reinforces their sense of alienation. This is coming from a culture that many westers percieve respects the older generation. Homless people are considered to be stubborn, inflexible, weak, and forgetful because of their age. Because they are alienated from society for a long time, they don’t expect to be spoken to.