While these acts or obligations are common to Western relationships, the act or practice of giri is very different. When practicing giri one will not take into account one’s own suffering when serving or helping another. To use the workplace as an example, Japanese will serve their superiors with a self sacrificing devotion. Employees will even tolerate abuse and humiliation to fulfill their giri to their superiors or employers. The purpose of this devotion being support and respect for human relationships.

Possible meanings:

• Obligation, moral obligation
• Duty
• Self-sacrificing devotion

Special note:

Giri has a far more pervasive influence on the Japanese world view and culture than its English equivalent. Many foreigners dealing with the Japanese are first impressed by exquisite manners and sense of duty or commitment. However, over time most foreigners come to find these acts of giri to be hypocritical and superficial.

In the Western mindset Giri would be something similar to doing the right thing or repaying kindness. One custom or practice Japanese often find frustrating is gift giving. When Japanese receive gifts Japanese they know they must pay back the kindness and give something in return. This means that for many Japanese receiving gifts is something they wish they could avoid as they know will have to go to the trouble of buying something in return to do giri.

Should You Practice Giri?

You should be definitely aware of and practice giri if you are living in Japan. Practicing giri will help you build strong relationships and help you in the long run. You can actually build up giri with friends and associates by doing unsolicited favors. A sort of an unspoken, but very structured “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine.”

Enryo is a form of politeness, a device for maintaining a certain distance from those one does not know well or one considers as one’s superiors. When Japanese meet someone for the first time, they tend to avoid close contact, such as a hand shake or embrace. A polite bow is the usual greeting. The distance does not necessarily mean unfriendliness, but it can certainly come across that way to new comers to Japan.

Enryo can be a somewhat time wasting and confusing social custom to foreigners. In the Westerners mindset it is Japanese being unnecessarily polite. For example, when offered a drink or food, it is courteous for Japanese to refuse what is offered at least once in order to show that they are holding back. This is being polite in Japan. What is important is show that you are not really declining the the offer, but just trying to show that you are being polite. So rather than saying a flat “no”, Japanese say something like “that would be troubling you to much”. The person making the offer will not take the response at face value . He or she will repeat the offer, saying, “please don’t hold back” with the result of the offer finally being accepted.

Most young Japanese would agree that the logic behind “enryo” at times doesn’t really add up. More and more Japanese are finding the subtle exchanges of courtesy, the art of holding back, too difficult to perform perfectly . However, enryo is still a integral part of social behavior in which Japanese take extreme pride. In casual social encounters, holding back, is highly prized and praised.

Enryo can cause a multitude of problems in the world of international relations and business. Japanese business men are acutely aware that their custom of holding back is the exactly opposed to the Western way of “holding forth”. Depending on where and how business is being done “enryo” can benefit or handicap Japanese. What Westerners should know that if they are playing by Japanese rules, then being too forward and forthright is putting yourself at a disadvantage. Japanese are more impressed with people who talk the least and who make their point by manner rather than their mouth.